This is a fun exercise. If you are spontaneous and creative, you might like to do this one often. If you find it difficult to put your love and appreciation in words, this might offer you a great opportunity to work out those creative muscles.
I’m sure you have a whole lot of love for your spouse. But time can wear on your love, and without positive reinforcement of that love you can both end up feeling drained and dry about each other.
You may be thinking that writing a love letter every day could take some time. That’s true, but the Love Letter exercise is actually spoken, not written. So it won’t take as long as you think.
Now I know some of you whether you are male or female might be thinking I am asking for pages of poetic rhythm and rhymes. I assure you that is not the point at all in this exercise. The point is to creatively, verbally share a love thought you have about your spouse.
Most of us think about how we love our spouse throughout the week. This just let’s you put that love through in a candy wrapper so that it’s sweeter when your spouse hears it. Also remember you also get to hear a love thought wrapped up daily as well. This actually gets fun as you do it on a regular basis.
What I love about this exercise is that it forces you to think about your love for your spouse regularly. This is intentional reinforcing to both of you how much you love each other.
For this exercise, face each other and maintain eye contact. One spouse complete this sentence: “If I were writing a love letter today to you, it would say….” After he or she has completed his or her love letter, the other spouse completes the same sentence.
Here’s an example.
James: If I were writing a love letter today to you, it would say that I loved you before I met you. When I met you, the beauty of your heart captivated me. I love just watching who you are—mother, friend, and lover—so to say “I love you” is too small, for I am still discovering the beauty you are. (It’s okay men if your love letter is different, after all, you are you and you are the one she loves)
Jackie: If I were writing a love letter today to you, it would have to say “Thank you.” I don’t know that I have ever said “Thank you” for holding me when my world or heart is coming apart. Thank you for all the mundane, everyday things you always do, and thank you that you do all of these things without the many thank-you’s that you deserve to hear!
This exercise is another one that can blow you away. No matter what happened that day, you could be fortified by having your spouse speak his or her love letter to you. I offer you this friendly warning: during this exercise the warmth and “wow” feelings you may experience can lead to hugs, kisses, and other reactions!
The idea here is that we all are so in love, but we don’t regularly prime the pump—say how we feel. This exercise communicates the depth how we feel to the other person. When you do this regularly, all of life seems just a little easier, burdens lighter, and life just so much sweeter.