In almost thirty years of counseling, I have found one thing to be true: life can be hard. I know, because I see these hardships walk through my door every day. I see men who have allowed their lives to spiral out of control, and as they hit rock bottom, they become desperate for help. I also see brokenhearted women, shocked at what they have just learned about the men they married. Blindsided by a secret sexual betrayal, these ladies then wonder how they will survive. Their husbands’ lives now mirror the bird in the ancient proverb that flies into a snare.
There is a way out. I have seen it. It’s a way of life that will restore the honesty, integrity, and strength that these husbands and wives both crave. We all enjoy the feeling of being clean, free, living with a clear conscience and no secrets.
The apostle Peter alluded to this kind of freedom that comes with repentance when he spoke to the crowds in the book of Acts, “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord” (Acts 3:19 NIV, emphasis added).
But this type of internal transformation requires work. More work than most people are used to. Nevertheless, if both the husband and wife stay the course and do the work, slowly over time they will see results. Trust can be rebuilt. I see it all the time.
I also see a lot of church leaders struggling to help those trapped in the cycle of sexual sinning, whether it’s porn or adultery or something else. But many church leaders fall to sexual temptation themselves, and the ones who do stay pure are often at a loss as to how to help those struggling. As a result, I travel and speak at many of these churches, encouraging the leadership to confront the issue head-on because, whether they know it or not, it is embedded somewhere in their church. The rooting-out process can be painful, but if a community of believers is willing to go the extra mile for one another, get real, and extend grace, they will soon see the blessing of the Lord return to their sanctuary. You see, with God there are no secrets. He already knows—everything. That’s why I am excited about the message found in this book. It’s what I like to call “the road map to redemption,” a tried-and-true system that will create a culture of honesty and integrity in churches and families.
So let me ask you, do you have the courage to become clean? Do you want to see your wife smile again? Would you like to be able to look others in the eye? Would you like to regain trust with your family and community?