Marriage is a lifetime commitment and within that lifetime are countless days that, after a while, begin to blur together. As this time passes, it’s easy to let your marriage become a routine and your spouse become the person you live with. You may get caught up in the endless busyness that comes with each new day, whether that’s through your job, kids, or other obligations. After a day of stress, your spouse is not on your mind, or if they are, you are focusing on all of those quirks that irritate you and the distance between you begins to widen.

The lists below highlight some of the strengthening habits and detrimental issues that can have a huge impact on your marriage. Take a moment and think about your relationship with your spouse and be honest about how you interact.

Your Marriage is Hot if:

1.You let little things stay little.

2.You appreciate more than criticize.

3.You still enjoy just being together.

4.Your dates are creative.

5.Sex is satisfying and connected.

6.You still write/text love notes.

7.You feel you are on a team.

8.You feel your spouse is an adult.

9.They still make you laugh.

10.You feel good when you are together.

Your Marriage is Cold if:

1.Little things become big things.

2.You criticize more than appreciate

3.You avoid being together.

4.You’re not going on dates.

5 .Sex is an issue.

6.You’re not writing/receiving love notes/texts.

7.You’re not feeling you are on a team.

8.You feel your spouse is a child.

9.You’re not really laughing together.

10.There is tension when you are together.

Were there parts that you and your spouse are doing great? Were there places that you see your relationship struggling? Did the good outweigh the not-so-good, or vice versus? Whether your marriage is hot or cold, there are always ways that you and your spouse can continue to grow together. Don’t allow the stress of daily life to wear on the things you are doing well, or tear you down any further. Keep up those relationship-building habits, but be honest with yourself and your spouse about what areas of your marriage need some work. Work together for each other and your marriage will be hot in no time!

For more information on this, join Dr. Weiss on his LinkedIn account at:www.linkedin.com/in/douglasweissphd

Heart to Heart Counseling Center offers counseling and intensives to help you achieve love and understanding with your spouse.

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