The battle of lust is in the moment. The minute you choose to objectify a daughter of God, you become tempted to use reflexive reactions of minimization or denial in order to protect lust.
It is critical to create a new reflex for the times you find yourself “in the moment.” I advocate a technique in the book, The Final Freedom (Discovery Press, 2013) aptly called, “the rubber band.” Simply put a rubber band around your wrist and when you start to lust, snap it hard.
Currently, you are giving your brain positive reinforcement when you lust. You escape reality, you feel desired, you fantasize, and sometimes even receive a chemical reaction in your brain from the risk and excitement you feel. When you positively reinforce your brain, it will heighten your desire to repeat that behavior.
The rubber band technique creates a negative reinforcement for lust and sends your brain the message: I don’t want to do this anymore. Many guys have reported back to me on the effectiveness of this technique. Those struggling say they notice about an 80 percent decrease in lust and objectifying. When you choose to give your brain the negative signal that lust hurts, you start sending lust the message that it is unwelcome in your life.
Make it Real
1. When you lusted in the past, what have been some of the rationalizations or denials you used to allow yourself to lust?
2. What is the truth for each rationalization?
3. What do you think of the rubber band technique or other negative reinforcement strategies?
4. In the next thirty days, what type of negative reinforcement will you use to battle lust in the moment?
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