When a man chooses an unclean lifestyle of secret lust, pornography, or other sexually inappropriate behaviors he might think that what his wife doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Nothing is further from the truth.
As Christians, we believe when we get married, two become one. God’s final creation in the garden was marriage. Yet our bodies are not only one with our wives but one with the Lord as well. Not only does God grieve because of what we men choose to do to ourselves, I believe he grieves because of what men’s secret lives do to his daughters—our wives.
Most of us men would like our wives to feel good about themselves. We want our spouses to feel confident, beautiful, and adequate. If you are dabbling with a secret sexual life, you are almost guaranteeing your wife’s self-esteem will be damaged.
If you are having a secret sexual life, your wife’s self-esteem is going to go down significantly; she is very likely to suffer several symptoms of depression; and if she turns to food, she will gain significant weight due to your choices. Would you like to feel bad about yourself, be depressed, and experience weight gain because of a secret behavior your wife chose to take part in on an ongoing basis, and that you absolutely know is not God’s will for her life? Probably not. I don’t think it’s very fair for a man to inflict this and other symptoms on his wife just so he can look at porn, masturbate, and be sexually inappropriate.
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