Porn is probably the fastest growing problem in the church. When speaking at my Sex, Men and God conferences, I have found that more than fifty percent of the men attending will admit to being addicted, not struggling, but addicted to pornography.
What about the church staff? Many church staff members were also raised sexually by Playboy, the Internet, and culture. We have to accept that being in ministry doesn’t make anyone immune to the porn problem. This problem is largely a male issue, however, there is more research supporting the fact that there are Christian women that are also engaging in pornography and social networks for inappropriate relationships.
As a leader in ministry, there are several proactive things you can do or request that your staff does, to minimize the threat of porn or other sexual issues that can damage your ministry. Over the last twenty years, rarely does a month go by that a pastor or Christian leader is sitting in my office with a porn or moral failure that could have been helped by having some of these strategies in place.
Porn blockers on all church computers are a good first step. Like the porn blocker offered on our website, you can have accountability software. This allows a designated person to get a report on sites attempted or viewed by each staff person. You can also offer to pay for this porn blocker on home computers to even further safeguard your staff.
Computers are not the only thing that needs a porn blocker anymore. Cell phones that have Internet access are porn stores in your staff member’s pockets. You can have the browsers disabled or have a porn blocker and accountability software for cell phones too. Honestly, most of us don’t need to be hooked up to a porn store 24/7. My phone doesn’t have Internet access because I just don’t need or want the world in my pocket 24/7.
We hear so much in the media about the military’s don’t ask, don’t tell policy. The military has nothing on the church. We don’t ask our singles, men or women, and especially our staff questions about their porn issues. I would say man and woman up!
Ask regularly if they are viewing porn. When you ask, you are giving the opportunity for honesty. When you don’t ask, this secret can grow into an affair or lawsuit for the church. So ask, and have women ask women as well so that this porn issue isn’t growing hooks into anyone on your staff.
Lastly, I have a radical idea. My clinical team and I, voluntarily offer a guarantee that there is no secret sexual sin in our house so that we can help any ministry. We agree to voluntarily take a polygraph to verify no porn or sex outside of marriage. This way, when you send a client for a sex addiction problem, intimacy anorexia, or a marriage intensive, you can be sure the counselor is sexually clean himself.
As a leader, you can volunteer to do this and ask others to as well. You can also let future staff members you want to hire know that you verify their sexual purity. This will persuade those who want to continue in their sin won’t feel “called” or “led” to be a part of your team. This has stopped several Christian male counselors from wanting to be on my team. Just a thought!
As a leader, your proactive approach can help those on your staff feel safe. This also helps your followers know that their leaders are taking a proactive stance against the devil’s plans to destroy the ministry that they receive from your team.
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While researching this topic, if any time questions come up we are here to answer any questions. You may contact Dr. Weiss via his website, drdougweiss.com, by phone at 719-278-3708 or through email at heart2heart@xc.org.
{About}
Douglas Weiss, Ph.D., is a nationally known author, speaker and licensed psychologist. He is the executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and the author of several books including Servant Marriage, Sex, Men and God, Intimacy; and his latest, Worthy: Exercise and Step Book.
